A wedding day may be all about the bride, but a good hostess has taken care to ensure that guests have an exquisite experience as well—especially those from out of town who have likely paid a tidy sum to spend your special day with you. The graciousness with which you treat guests will make as lasting an impression as the ceremony and vows themselves.
Plan Early
Travel needs for guests should be considered at the earliest planning stages, says wedding planner Dorothy Owsley of Blush event planning. Schedule your wedding in the afternoon or early evening, allowing guests time to drive, fly and return home without missing work or school. Or, make a weekend of it, advises wedding planner Angella Day of Wishes and Dreams in Platteville. The day before the wedding, plan a spa day for the women while the men golf. After your rehearsal, go to a vineyard for a pre-dinner wine tasting. The day following the ceremony, rent a trolley for sightseeing, shopping and brunch.
Angela Dupont of Top Shelf Weddings & Events in Madison recently helped a bride set up a series of events for out-of-town guests. “The bride held an open house at a bed and breakfast after the rehearsal, and then invited everyone to walk to the Orpheum Theatre where she had arranged a private ‘special feature’—a slideshow of the couple’s photos set to music. The special feature was followed with a classic black and white film (a love story, of course!).”
Once you’ve selected a date, reserve a block of rooms at a local hotel. If you’re accommodating a large number of guests, select multiple hotels from moderate to expensive to please varying tastes and budgets. “One bride I recently worked with put all of her college friends up in a bed and breakfast because she knew they would have more fun together in the guest house,” says La Crosse wedding planner Nancy Flottmeyer of Weddings by Nancy. Most hotels will reserve a block of 10 rooms at no charge to the wedding couple up until 30 days before the wedding.
Details Count
Because room blocks often close 30 days prior to the wedding, it’s important to make sure you send out save-the-date cards six months in advance. Or, at the very least, send out invitations 10 to eight weeks prior to your wedding, and choose a response due date just before the hotel block closes. Maps and directions needn’t go out until the invitation is sent since they can get lost so far in advance. Save-the-date information can be delivered via email with links to hotels and interactive area maps. Planner Monica Rae Gill of The White Box of Wedding Design in Milwaukee advises her clients to use the Internet to their advantage. She recommends weddingmapper.com, which allows couples to create a free, customized map of their wedding destinations. “Using little icons to signify special places, couples can pinpoint the ceremony and reception locations, airports and train stations, along with their favorite restaurants, hotels and attractions.” Arrange transportation throughout the weekend for out-of-town guests. Choose a hotel with shuttle service or hire service yourself, says Flottmeyer—and if your wedding is in a remote location, a shuttle, coach or trolley service is essential. Select services that offer a television system, encourages Dupont. Brides can provide the driver with a DVD slideshow of the couple for guests to view as they ride. She also suggests customized bottles of water on ice in the coach. Your theme, monogram or color palette can easily be printed on the bottle label. For a winter wedding, think about customized fleece blankets and hot cocoa waiting for guests to enjoy. And be sure the front desk of your hotel has directions and timing to various events. “We are here to help,” says Steven Keip of The Edgewater Hotel in Madison.
Entertainment
When couples float in from out of town—especially for long weekends—they often aren’t sure where to find the fun. Flottmeyer suggests inviting out-of-towners to a welcome dinner or cocktail hour at your favorite restaurant. Some couples invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, although that seems to work best when there aren’t many people and they are close friends. If you don’t want to invite a large group to the rehearsal dinner—usually paid for by the groom’s parents or the couple—consider providing a list of “best bets for dinner” and then meet for a cocktail afterward.
If your guests are sticking around the day after your wedding, Flottmeyer suggests hosting a brunch or tea as a farewell sendoff to the new couple. Wendy Phillips, owner of the Old Rittenhouse Inn in Bayfield, says her brides have hosted kayak outings where guests explored the shores of Lake Superior and sea caves. Others have treated guests to hot stone therapy at a spa and booked a sunset sailing cruise among the nearby Apostle Islands. “Our brides bring their guests to a traditional Door County fish boil at The White Gull Inn after their rehearsal or the day following the ceremony,” says Andy Coulson, keeper of the Fish Creek Inn. “A strolling accordion player entertains on both the patio and in the dining room.”
Say “Welcome”
It’s impossible for a busy bride to greet all of her guests at the airport or their hotel. A charming replacement is a welcome bag placed in their hotel room. Ginger Gant of Ginger & Company encourages Madison brides to use a Bucky Badger theme, complete with cheese, Wisconsin beers, crackers, UW-Madison memorabilia and local wine. She swears by ehlenbachscheese.com and houseofwisconsincheese.com. Bride-to-be Elisabeth Norton of Madison is including a bouquet of flowers from the local farmers’ market and a current copy of weekly papers Isthmus and The Onion, as well as a list of each guest’s room number and extension, so everyone can connect. “Fill the bag with local flavor,” says Flottmeyer. “Include local magazines and historic walking tours. In our La Crosse bags we add Amish jam, because that’s part of our culture. We’ve done mini-spa bags with lotions, scented candles and soaps. One of our grooms from Indiana wanted us to include his favorite hometown potato chip. We called the company directly for the order.”
Phillips recalls a memorable gift one bride gave out-of-town guests for a Bayfield wedding: a picnic basket filled with items for a day on the bay, including Rittenhouse preserves made from local fruits and berries, a hand-thrown bowl from Eckels Pot Shop filled with munchies, Wisconsin cheese curds, South Shore Beer, ferry passes, a throw blanket and sunscreen. Another gave guests a maple tree seedling with a note encouraging them to plant it at home and watch it grow, knowing it would survive and flourish similar to a strong marriage.
“People attend so many weddings in their life,” reflects Flottmeyer. “The ones that stand out are the ones that have kept the guests’ needs in mind and surprised them with little touches along the way.” Your guests will remember your thoughtfulness and generosity for years to come.
Welcome Bag Hints
Make your visiting gusts feel special by including a few of the following:
{1.} Brief thank-you/welcome note.
{2.} A fun snapshot of the couple preparing for the wedding—the couple addressing invitation envelopes or the groom trying on a ridiculous-looking tuxedo.
{3.} A pre-paid gift card for valet pressing at the hotel or nearby cleaner.
{4.} A Wisconsin product to take home such as a jar of honey or preserves, cheese, or Usinger’s sausage.
{5.} Snacks for the hotel room — bottled water, nuts, popcorn, chocolates, fruit.
{6.} A bottle of wine. Consider a Wisconsin wine such as Door County Cherry or Wollersheim Prairie Fume. Some wineries will let couples put on customized labels with a welcome note.
{7.} A toy for small children.
{8.} A list of local restaurants, shops, spas, pharmacies and dry cleaners as well as tourist must-sees.
{9.} A map of the area with wedding schedule and contact information.
{10.} A schedule of upcoming festivities including shuttle pick-up time.