Engagement season has a way of arriving all at once. One moment you’re celebrating, and the next you’re fielding questions, links, and opinions about what you should do next. The pressure to start planning can creep in quickly, often before you’ve had time to enjoy what just happened.
Before timelines and to-do lists take over, it helps to pause. The couples who feel most grounded later on tend to give themselves permission to slow down at the beginning.
Here’s how to approach those first weeks with clarity, intention, and a little breathing room.
Start by celebrating
Before booking anything, take a beat.
“Take a moment to truly enjoy your engagement before diving into planning. Soak in the excitement, the love, and the joy of this special milestone,” says Renee Tantillo of Renee Breanne Design + Co.
Bobbi Petersen of Bobbi Petersen Photography agrees. “Have a glass of champagne, celebrate with your people, and soak it in.”
That pause matters. It creates space to reconnect with each other before decisions begin to stack up, and it helps the planning process feel like a choice rather than a rush.
Look at the big picture first
Once you’re ready to begin, step back before getting into the details.
Katie Hill of Saint Kate - The Arts Hotel recommends starting with a few grounding conversations specifically about your budget, guest list, and overall vision. These shape nearly every decision that follows. “Touring venues like Saint Kate - The Arts Hotel is a wonderful next step, as it helps you gather inspiration and see what feels right for your day. Dates fill quickly, so touring early ensures more options for your dream celebration.”
Even so, there’s no need to plan everything at once. Hill adds, “Secure the vendors most important to you, then set small monthly goals and take time to relax and simply enjoy being engaged.”
Decide what matters most to you
One of the most helpful early exercises is getting clear on your priorities before outside opinions get loud.
“As you make your list of what is most important, look to hire preferred vendors in that order,” says David Porto of Blue Plate Catering. “If dancing is the most important, get that DJ. If there are a lot of moving parts, book the planner or coordinator. And don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing it in the wrong order.”
Porto adds, “When you find a vendor that matches your vision and budget, it is okay to make it official and check that box. Feel free to ask them for their recommendations as well. Couples may (or may not) be surprised to hear that we like working with vendors that we trust and know will also help bring a vision to life.”
Build a support system you trust
Wedding planning doesn’t have to be a solo effort, but who you listen to matters.
“Assemble your support team. Whether it’s a planner, family, or friends, surround yourselves with people who understand and support your style and priorities,” says Tantillo. “They’ll be your sounding board, your helpers, and your cheerleaders throughout the journey.”
Ashley Kuehnel of Midwestern Bride encourages couples to filter outside noise early. “Planning a wedding is like raising kids. Everyone has an opinion. Find a qualified and experienced planner who wants to hear what you want first, then assess the budget, guest list, and priorities to set a planning schedule that works for you.”
Kuehnel also cautions against rushing into decisions based on enthusiasm alone. “Don’t jump in too fast and make hasty decisions because 'Heather' told you she was the best and you must use her.”
A common mistake: trying to do everything at once
Many couples feel pressure to make every decision early, but that approach often creates more stress than clarity.
“The biggest mistake I see is couples rushing to plan everything without a clear vision for what they really want,” says Petersen. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right away because the best weddings come together naturally when you give yourself time to enjoy the process."
Porto agrees that timing matters, especially for popular dates, but pressure should never drive decisions. “If your wedding is in September, you may need to move with urgency to secure your main vendors. And if any vendor puts undue pressure on you, find someone who values you for more than just your money.”
How to slow down without falling behind
Taking your time doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means moving with intention and staying focused on what matters most.
- Celebrate first, plan second
- Start with priorities, not aesthetics
- Book key vendors when the fit feels right
- Break planning into small, manageable steps
- Work with people who respect your pace and values
Engagement season isn’t a race. It’s a short, meaningful chapter that sets the tone for everything that follows.
When you give yourself space to enjoy it, trust your instincts, and surround yourselves with the right people, planning becomes less about pressure and more about building something that actually feels like you.
Main photo by Bobbi Petersen Photography
